Kaya Oakes’ new book “Not So Sorry: Abusers, False Apologies, and the Limits of Forgiveness,” which was published by Broadleaf Books, made her the logical choice to recently appear on “A Matter of Faith: A Presby Podcast” to talk about forgiveness in faith communities.
It’s a precious gift to be there to say goodbye. But when the actual moment comes, it can be hard to know what to do or where to start. Maybe we are thrown by the beeping ICU screens. Or maybe we don’t know how to begin unwinding a conflict that has been years in the making. Sometimes there’s plenty of time to say all that is needed, and the words flow with ease. Many times, though, we struggle for words in those precious moments. As Stephen Jenkinson, who has written extensively about grief, observed: We often stumble into our dying as amateurs.
An article published last month by Vox entitled “Everyone wants forgiveness, but no one is being forgiven” captured our attention. “Modern outrage is a cycle,” the subhead reads. “Could a culture of public forgiveness ever break it?”
Any recounting of the journey of the children of Israel must include the story of the golden calf. It’s an important story because it reminds us of our own ways of traveling the journeys God has set before us. We want to claim our place among God’s chosen, and yet we cannot do so without owning our own failures as followers of a leader. We, too, have often found our spiritual leaders “up on the mountain” awaiting a word from God and, like Moses’ followers, have tired of waiting for epiphany that will provide us the answers we desire. We know what happens next.
My tee shot gained altitude, a rare outcome and hopeful. But then it started to curve, bending more and more to the left. This was during the decade of my life when I played a little golf.
A recent cartoon in our Sunday newspaper depicted an exhausted mother, sprawled in a chair surrounded by typical birthday party chaos: torn wrapping paper, balloons, toys spread everywhere. Standing next to her, a little boy with a party hat tilted on his head asks, “When’s the next birthday?”
Who are you passing by today as you hurry to get to your next destination?
Christina Cosby, mission specialist for the Middle East and Europe with Presbyterian World Mission, remembers a few months ago she was watching a TV documentary about the refugee crisis in Europe and a camp, Moria, better known by its nickname “Hell on Earth.”
