Retreat renews souls through dark nights

New worshiping leaders find comfort in St. John of the Cross

by Beth Waltemath | Presbyterian News Service

“Retreat-in-a-box” materials help create an altar at home. (Photo by Diane Waddell)

The ground beneath us is off kilter. This is a scientific fact with spiritual resonances.

This planet tilts on its axis. On the Earth, we are never perfectly upright, and so we experience uneven periods of light and darkness. As we approach the winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, our days shorten. This is the reality for those Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) congregations in the United States, including Puerto Rico, during Advent. We are drawn further and longer into darker nights.

During seasons of darkness, the soils of fallow fields marinate and enrich their minerals in a period of restoration before the hard work of renewal in the months ahead. As the light and warmth of sun retreat, our bodies and minds are forced to shorten our hours of doing, to retreat inward and to heed the core reality of living as being — simple as it may seem.

St. John of the Cross understood the opportunity for renewal that awaits us under the cover of darkness. Last week, the Rev. Jeff Eddings, Associate for Coaching and Spiritual Formation for 1001 New Worshiping Communities, led an online retreat engaging a new translation of St. John’s “Dark Night of the Soul.” Over two days punctuated by morning, midday and evening prayer times on Zoom, leaders and friends of 1001 New Worshiping Communities considered this 16th-century mystic’s descriptions of the spiritual life.

With St. John as their inspiration, participants discussed ways in which they had been too attached to certain manifestations of God’s presence in their life and too reliant on overdoing their virtues until they became vices hindering the path of sublime surrender to sovereign love. According to St. John, the dark night gives the pilgrim the opportunity to slip away from the tyranny of self-righteousness and self-flagellation to experience the consuming embrace of belovedness.

Mirabai Starr’s new translation of “Dark Night of the Soul” calls this escape from what we think we know about God and about our love for God an “exquisite risk” but also an opportunity for “lover transformed in Beloved.”

“On a dark night,

Inflamed by love-longing —

O exquisite risk! —

Undetected I slipped away.

My house, at last, grown still.”

This invitation to the shelter of stillness was particularly healing for those called to the tent-making ministry of new worshiping communities, where to-do lists never end and life, work and community overlap relentlessly.

Inspired by St. John’s theological poetry, participants were asked to make word block sculptures as part of their contemplative practices on the retreat. (Contributed photo)

The Rev. Dr. Jacqueline Lynch, an author, pastor and pediatric chaplain in Nassau County, New York, has been attending online retreats like this one for two years. She appreciates receiving in the mail a “retreat in a box” with the selected text and contemplative aids like coloring pages, pencils, blocks and candles. She admitted the title this time “caused me to wonder.” However, since completing the retreat, she has recommended “Dark Night of the Soul” to colleagues because of its insights into the experience of the soul and the redemptive power of darkness.

The retreat and its material “nourished my soul that was drying from all those years of service taking care of my congregation and people requesting help,” said the Rev. Li “Dolly” Dong, college outreach minister with Coalition for Christian Outreach and the Chinese church pastor at the First Presbyterian Church of Ashland, Ohio. “I needed to replenish my soul with God and the Holy Spirit on a one-on-one basis in solitude, silence and rest,” said Dong.

The retreat-in-a-box approach allowed those on retreat to participate from home. (Photo by Diane Waddell)

“Our soul needs God’s love. As we seek love but are busy with life, we need to travel away, seek darkness and silence to be able to invite God and feel his warmth and love. We need to build this intimacy to nourish our soul,” said Dong. 1001 NWC offers a stipend up to $250 for travel or boarding expenses for active new worshiping leaders who want to go on retreat while they participate online or a meal allowance of up to $90 for those who stay at home but need to focus on prayer over chores.

“The timing of the retreat was helpful, as fall continues to winter and  bleakness, but especially as we contemplate what will be happening socially, environmentally and governmentally around the globe after the election,” said the Rev. Diane Waddell, leader of a new worshiping community within the Heartland Presbytery called JOY (Justice, Outreach, Yoga). Waddell appreciates the opportunities for new worshiping leaders across the nation to gather and learn about each other’s contexts and mission as well as how they nourish their spiritual lives in the midst of entrepreneurial ministry.

• Through this retreat, she was inspired by the story of St. John’s life as one of resilience and faith through prison, escape and illness. “The hope it represents, even in bleakness, can certainly help reshape one’s outlook on being and doing,” said Waddell, who said St. John’s writings also reshaped her understanding of darkness and “our relationship with divinity.”

“It is beautiful to know those spaces of hope and care representing the love of Christ are supported by the PC(USA),” said Waddell.