How (and should) the church observe Mother’s Day?

The Hallmark holiday dilemma

By Donna Frischknecht Jackson | Presbyterians Today

The carnations were placed in vases on a table near the front door of the church. As the congregation filed out of the sanctuary and shook hands with the pastor, members of the worship committee handed carnations to women in celebration of Mother’s Day. Not all women received a flower, however. Only those who had children. I still remember the look of pain on one woman’s face who was denied a flower. She was approaching her mid-40s, yet she still clung to hope that she would have a child one day. I was still just a seminary student, but that began my questioning as to how the church should handle Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day, for that matter).

While the American incarnation of Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908 and became an official U.S. holiday in 1914, celebrations of motherhood can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Romans. The early Christians also had what was known as “Mothering Sunday,” which fell during Lent. It was a time for all of the faithful (not just mothers) to return to their “mother church” for a special service.

Over time, the Mothering Sunday tradition shifted into a more secular holiday, which has found its way into our churches. Here, Presbyterians Today explores the Mother’s Day dilemma and how churches approach this day.

Shifting the focus

I put something in the weekly email and monthly newsletter along the lines of “we hope all those who have the chance to celebrate the civil holiday Mother’s Day with the mothers in their life take joy in that — and that those who struggle with the holiday for so many reasons can find comfort and peace.” And then don’t mention it in the service other than in prayer. — The Rev. Jessica Dixon, transitional pastor, Indian Nations Presbytery

Remembering moms

We set up candles that folks can light during any hymn in memory or in honor of their mothers, grandmothers, daughters — anyone really. Then, later in the service, we do a litany that lifts up mothers/mother figures/mother-love, etc. It is very sensitive and well received. We do same on Father’s Day. — The Rev. Vanessa Smith, Hedgesville Presbyterian Church, Hedgesville, West Virginia 

Reasons not to celebrate

This is hard because of trying to manage expectations. There are so many people in the congregation that can be hurt by naming this non-Christian holiday. I am in pastoral care and I am maybe extra-sensitive on behalf of couples I know are in pain from fertility challenges. Love on everybody, every week. — The Rev. Jody Andrade, associate pastor, congregational care, Pleasant Hill Presbyterian Church, Duluth, Georgia

A mission-oriented Mother’s Day

I don’t say much about mothers beyond things like “It takes a village” and “We all need a little help.” For example, like having a diaper drive. They are expensive, so a lot of kids end up wearing wet or even dirty diapers. I know moms who rinse out disposable wet diapers and dry them on the line. They’re not meant to be reused and so it is a hygiene issue. — The Rev. Karen Ware Jackson, Faith Presbyterian Church, Greensboro, North Carolina

We’ve received a special offering, “Women Making a Difference.” People make donations in honor of or in memory of women. Typically, money has gone to breast cancer or domestic violence causes. — The Rev. Linda Jaberg, transitional pastor, Howey in the Hills Community Church, Howey in the Hills, Florida

Highlighting the act of mothering

We celebrate “Mothering Day.” Mothering is something we all experience — even those of us who will never have biological children, we all mother someone. Men also do mothering. We lift up all those who have had a mothering influence on our lives. — Devon Borden Reynolds, inquirer, North Alabama Presbytery

In my Caribbean tradition, the Sunday was “Mothering Sunday” and we celebrated all those who mothered us, whether or not they gave birth. It’s also a prime occasion to consider the motherhood of God. — The Rev. Dr. Margaret Aymer, Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary

Support Presbyterian Today’s publishing ministry. Click to give