Grief in Ukraine

A letter from Ellen Smith, mission co-worker serving in Russia, Belarus, Ukraine and Poland

April 2024

Dear friends,

Over the last month, I have been communicating regularly with one of PC(USA)’s partners in Ukraine who is working on providing advanced technologies in communication to help people with disabilities in Ukraine. These technologies were originally designed for non-verbal children with autism, but in this time of war, our partners have found that the technology is also helpful for people who have acquired communication disorders from trauma or injury. Children, adults and soldiers with head injuries benefit from this technology. Our partner sees this project as a mid-level intervention, but also as a reconstruction project because it can be used to create a barrier-free society in Ukraine after the war. I am impressed with the project and the NGO working on it.

Save Ukraine. Photo by Mathias Reding courtesy of Pexels

This week my conversation with Natalia took on another tone entirely. She let me know that the heavy increase in attacks from Russia is taking a toll on Ukrainian society. People are giving up and emigrating. They can’t take it anymore. The work for those who stay is heavy. Natalia told me about a group she has been involved with providing psychological care for widows. The grief is overwhelming. Another partner is working with the mothers of fallen soldiers. They are practicing a ministry of presence, accompanying them in their grief. If you add the children who have lost their fathers, the pain is almost insurmountable. She added that the number of disabled soldiers coming back from the front will change the future of Ukraine. Other soldiers returning without physical wounds are struggling with survivor guilt. Their families struggle too. They feel like they have no place in civil society and are only useful at the front line. Natalia asked especially for prayers for priests and pastors. They are carrying the weight of this. The days have been difficult throughout the war, but now some struggle to find hope. Hope is in the little things.

Stop War in Ukraine. Photo by Matti Karstedt courtesy of Pexels

I was at a peace conference at LCC University in Lithuania in early March. The focus was not on Ukraine, but on the negative peace, which is understood as the fragile peace in the Baltics and the Balkans. It was a powerful conference looking at how we learn to live together with the other. It is so easy for us all to “other” those we don’t agree with, who don’t look like us, talk like us or worship like us. The keynote speaker was from Northern Ireland and talked about the peace process there. I am still processing it all.

It is not possible to discuss peace for Ukraine at this time. There were Ukrainians at the conference, students from LCC. They were helping with the program. I had conversations with two of them. One expressed sadness. Her father is on the front lines, and she has had friends die in this war. Another expressed the rage she feels. It is especially hard for the Ukrainians that are safe in another country. The looming question is, “How do you find your identity as a Ukrainian from afar.”

Please pray for our partners who are navigating the grief with people, our partners in Ukraine, and in the countries that people have fled to. Please pray for the priests, pastors, psychologists and social workers. Please pray for all those displaced by this war who are wondering how to start again. The load is heavy.

Peace to you this day,

Ellen